The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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