The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
