You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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