This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
