You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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