ya dads aren't the best wingmen
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
