Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize