Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
