we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
