Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Found the puke drawer
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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