after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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