His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
