I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
