ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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