happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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