I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
