So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
