Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize