Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
