dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
