he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
