Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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