All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize