M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
