did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
