She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
