I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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