Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
