I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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