how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
