He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
