He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
