oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Drake has all the answers
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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