Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
