I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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