he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
ok first of all what the fuck
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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