And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you win again, gameday.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
