Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize