So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
