She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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