Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Im part way to drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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