epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
