i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize