My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
