I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I party with great urgency now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
