last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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