I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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