Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
