Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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