Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize