its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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