I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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