Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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