So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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