Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
