He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
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Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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