I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize