I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
